My First Conversation with the leader of the Catholic Moms Group

Yesterday, I received a response from the leader of the Catholic Moms Group. We had a discussion about filtering, as well as photos available on the web site. Below are her responses to me first set of questions...

1. What groups besides Catholic mom are you involved in?

I'm also the owner of the "Learning the Catholic Faith Group" (which is a much slower moving group that the Catholic Moms group.) I'm involved in a couple of religious debate groups, other religion discussion groups, and the stay-at-home moms group, and Cafemom newcomers group

2. If you are involved in other groups, how do the communication norms differ from group to group? (i.e. are the topics of discussion different in different groups? Do you notice certain posts flagged or removed from one groups discussion board that may not be removed from another groups discussion board?, etc.)

Well the debate groups are more open to disagreements than say the Catholic Moms group. So while both groups deal with religion, the communication is different because the purposes of the groups are different. There is more sarcasm in the debate group (for one the guidelines even say to use a pink font color to indicate sarcasm), not so much sarcasm in the Catholic Moms group. Now in the religious discussion/debate groups "preaching" is discouraged. Someone just posting a sermon of sorts with no question or point to debate are generally locked. But in the Catholic Moms group we can post inspirational articles that are just meant to encourage people (which is considered ‘preaching' in the other group).
The stay-at-home moms group is large and has several subdivisions. Some are labels as maybe having ‘adult content' and others for things just like parenting tips and sharing recipes. So there is more variety in the types of discussions that are going on.

3. How do you filter the content posted in catholic mom?

I filter based on the goal and purpose I have for the group and to create a positive environment. The group is for Catholic moms to discuss and learn about our faith - so people wanting to debate the faith, those what would come in and tell us how wrong the Catholic faith is would be filtered. Questions about the faith are fine - statements that the church is wrong are not. Political discussions proved to be contentious and so the topic is banned in an attempt to keep it a positive environment and there are other groups at cafemom Mom where such discussions can go on. Plus as the owner it's up to me to monitor the group and I found monitoring the political discussions to be too time consuming.
I personally monitor the group and I have one (sometimes two) other mothers help me. I generally do a quick review of the posts and then respond to any ‘abuse' reports people have. I very rarely delete a post outright - only one that is clearly against cafemom's overall guidelines and I notify the original poster of what I did. Generally I'll post a reminder first and if things don't go well, I'll lock the post.

4. Do you think that filtering positively or negatively affects the community? Considering that people may be offended by others' opinions, even if they may simply be an opinion, not something outwardly inappropriate?

I think filtering positively affects the community because each ‘group/community should have a goal or purpose. It's more than just a bunch of random people getting together - it's about discussion and sharing about a common interest. That's why it's nice to belong to different groups to be able to discuss the same topic in different ways (like the difference between a religious debate/discussion group and the Catholic Moms group). Without a common purpose or goal the community/group falls apart and become fractious. This doesn't mean that everyone has to agree with everything - but they should be respectful of opinions that are different than their own. You can't please everyone and not everyone is comfortable in every group. If a group has a clear purpose and goal then people can decide for themselves if this is a community in which they want to participate.

5. Why did you decide to join cafemom and then Catholic mom?

It's hard to have intelligent, thoughtful discussions with small children running around. Plus you don't want to discuss parenting issues with other mothers with kids around who could overhear and misunderstand things. With an online community I can make and respond to comments more on my own time, while the kids are napping or sleeping or some other time.
I actually started with the previous incarnation of cafemom called Club Mom. I stumbled across it and enjoyed talking about parenting issues, politics and religion. I made some online friends there and then that group created ‘cafemome' and were looking for group leaders to help get things off the ground. Since I was Catholic and enjoying discussing and sharing about my faith I volunteered to host the Catholic moms group so as soon as cafemom started I started the Catholic Moms group and it's been that way since then.

6. Have you had a positive experience on the site? If so, please describe.

Yes, I've made some friends and we e-mail each other. I've gotten some good advice. I've been complemented on how well I explain some thins. As a mother your kids rarely complement you on what a good job you're doing so it's nice to hear that. It helps me feel competent.

7. Have you had any negative experiences or know anyone who has had a negative experience on the site? If so, please describe.

I've heard that some people have had negative experiences where there have been ‘fights' and ‘stalking' but I don't know any of the details.
There was one woman who was logged onto cafemom and then went to do something and her husband began using her username and posting things that upset people. And then when people found out that her husband was behind it - they were very upset and I believe she was removed from the site.

8. Do you feel that posting photos of young children is a safe idea considering that anyone can create an account on cafemom? Do you think there are any ethical concerns related to this issue? Or even privacy concerns?

Personally, I do not and would never post pictures of my children on the Internet. Some people feel safe since accounts can be set to ‘private' so that only ‘friends' can view pictures. Pictures of children are also pretty ubiquitous on the internet so I don't think people should not be allowed to so especially since raising children is one thing moms have in common. But it's not something I'm personally comfortable with doing.

9. Do you find that members of other groups with conflicting opinions about motherhood, religion, politics, etc. post their conflicting opinions on other groups discussion boards? If so, please describe your experience with this? Also, if so, are these comments filtered at all?

Well obviously in debate groups conflicting opinions are the norm. It's only if someone is disrespectful that it would be filtered. Sometimes someone will come into a group that disagrees with general purpose of the group and those posts are generally locked or deleted.

10. There is a rule on cafemom that nude photos are not allowed, however, photos of breast feeding and giving birth are allowed on the site. How do you feel about this policy? Do you think there are any privacy or ethical concerns related to the cafemom photo policy?

I'm fine with the policy. Again, it's not something I personally would do, but if others want to share that information it should be their choice. Breastfeeding and giving birth are natural events experienced by many mothers and part of motherhood.